


The one I need (You got me all gone)

by targaryen_melodrama



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fluff, M/M, POV Sam Wilson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 15:39:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17226752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/targaryen_melodrama/pseuds/targaryen_melodrama
Summary: “We might not end up liking each other orーor falling in love.”As soon as he says the words, Sam regrets them. Steve’s eyes light up at the sound oflove, and Sam knows he’s lost.Goddamn it.Sam didn’t have a chance. None at all.





	The one I need (You got me all gone)

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks as always to my wonderful beta for funny and encouraging comments and for bearing with me through tagging questions cause it's almost 2019, but i still haven't learned how to tag things. 
> 
> I saw a post a while ago on Tumblr (could not find it, my bad). One part of the post said something like: "we always see smooth, collected Sam Wilson getting together with unsure Bucky Barnes, and it'd be nice to see clumsy, unsure, fresh back on the dating game Sam get wooed by charming Bucky who was back on his bullshit as soon as he recovered."
> 
> This isn't exactly that, but it was definitely an inspiration.

Sam considers himself to be a rational man. He has his off days like any other human being, but overall he considers himself a rational, functional man, flaws and all.

Rational as he is, he’s spent the last fortyーalmost fiftyーminutes staring at his closet, wondering what would happen if he left the city right now, how far away from New York City he could get and how long it would be before a search party looked at him.

Knowing Natasha, he probably wouldn’t make it past his front door.

The thing is, Sam didn’t have a chance. None at all. Before he’d even actually said yes to Bucky, before he even got to tell people they were going on a date, Sam realized someone or something else had gotten to them first.

***

Steve was the first casualty.

One morning, after months and months of therapy sessions, of reading thousands of pages about Hydra’s actions, of hard conversations about the old Bucky never coming back, Steve woke up to Bucky’s scruff shaved, his hair cut, and his Brooklyn accent slipping through every other sentence.

It didn’t happen all at once, but Steve, being Steve, had probably decided that Bucky would never get better, and since he was already giving Atlas a pretty good run for his money, shouldering the never-ending hardship of Bucky’s recovery right along with the entire world wasn’t a problem. He probably trained himself out of hoping that Bucky would get better, that Bucky would get a little closer to the Bucky he’d known in the thirties, so when it happenedー

“Sam. Sam. If youーI’d never force you to, but if it isn’t too much, if you’re even a _little_ interestedー”

“Really? Really, Steve?”

Sam had done quite a lot for Captain America (and even more for Steve Rogers if he was being honest), but going on a date with his best friend _just because_?

“It’s not _just because_.” Sam can see how hard it is for Steve to withhold an eye roll, and he doesn’t know whether to be grateful or annoyed. “He...this is it. This is _him_.”

“Is it?” Sam has a very vivid memory of Bucky gesturing with the knife he was using to spread cream cheese on his bagel, warning Steve to give up on the idea of 1930s Bucky Barnes ever coming back.

“Itーit’s not, of course it’s not. Butーthis means he’s...you know? Settling back into himself. There’s thisーthis unshakeable part of him that’s still there. That theyーthat Hydra couldn’t take away. And if he could just _get_ to it, he’d be fine.”

Sam hates that Steve sounds so confident, so inspiring, even as he’s spouting A-grade pseudo-psychological bullshit.

Because Sam doesn’t have the timeーor the desireーto explain to Steve that healing isn’t linear or as simple as _getting to a part of yourself_ , or explain the term armchair psychologist, he sighs and lets Steve win this one. 

“This might never make it past a first date.”

“I know.”

“We might not end up liking each other orーor falling in love.”

As soon as he says the words, Sam regrets them. Steve’s eyes light up at the sound of _love_ , and Sam knows he’s lost. _Goddamn it_.

He tries one last warning. 

“He might be wearing your old friend’s face, and speaking the way your old friend did, but it won’t be the same.”

“Uh huh.” Sam’s words are water on a large, all-American duck’s, back. 

Steve’s lucky he’d planned to say yes in the first place.

*

The Avengers had been the second casualty.

Sam had deliberately gotten his own apartment when he agreed to move to New York. He values his privacy, doesn’t like to have more than two roommates, and is quite happy to be living pretty close to his mom, sister and niece.

That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t spend a considerable amount of time at the Tower, which means that a month after moving, Sam had realized that when Earth’s mightiest heroes weren’t on a mission, they behaved like school children.

“Picture it! The Times, the _New Yorker_ , even the _Post_ , ugh, everyone would be _frantic_. _The first Avengers wedding_ ー”

“Aren’t you and Rhodー”

Tony waves that away. “We were married before Clint was even bornー”

Over Clint’s cry of outrage, Sam does some quick math. “That doesn’t make any senseー”

“Cap’s two best friends find love...with _each other_. Honeybear, get Pepper on the line. She’s gonna throw you two the wedding of the _century_. After mine of course. Speaking of whichーPlatypus dearest, d’you wanna renew our vows?”

“We are going on our _first date_ ,” Sam reminds Tony, but he’s already being lead out of the common room by Rhodey, and Sam knows he didn’t hear any of it.

Clint jumps on the counter across from Sam, pulls out a lollipop that has to be older than Sam’s niece and says, “You’ve known each other for a long time, you trust each other.” He tosses a lollipop Nat and another one at Bruce, who Sam hadn’t even noticed were in the room while Tony was writing imaginary headlines.

“So?” Sam barely manages to bite his tongue and not blurt out something about them knowing a lot about first dates. They probably don’t; between Clint and Nat alone, there’s enough tragic backstory to make a novel series and a successful box office trilogy. “There are a lot of steps between a first date and a wedding.”

“Are there? Phil and I got together in April, married in September.”

“Yeah, but you twoー”

“Have known each other for years? Have been through a lot together? Yeah we have. Sound familiar?” Clint smirks for a second before the lollipop falls out of his mouth and he scrambles to catch it before it hits the floor.

Nat puts a hand on his shoulder. It’s meant to be comforting, Sam thinks, but it feels everything but. “When people like us get together, we commit. Fast.”

They’ve all lost their minds. There’s no other explanation. There can’t be.

Bruce walks towards them to add hot water to his mug, and for a second, Sam hopes there’s one other sensible person in the room.

“I like weddings,” Bruce says under his breath.

Sam is screwed.

*

Sam’s shoes are barely off when his niece throws herself on his legs.

“UncleSammyhasaboyfrienduncleSammyhasaboyfrienduncleSammyー”

“Woah there, baby, you wanna let me get my coat off?”

“ーyoudidn’tsayyouhadaboyfriendUncleSammyareyouhavingbabiesdoIgetacousinhuhー”

“Layla baby,” his sister calls, “why don’t you let your uncle remove his coat and meet us in the kitchen?”

Sam’s relieved as soon as Layla takes off running in the other direction, and that relief goes straight out the window once he gets to the kitchen and sees the look on his mom and sister’s faces.

“How do you evenー”

“Steve was bringing back the containers he used last weekーthat boy was raised right, Ms. McGraw from across the street never even brought them back to me, I should go over there and get my things back.”

“When I got here, mom suggested he stay over for lunch,” Sarah explains while their mom is still mumbling about Tupperwares. “Your boy happened to tell us that you have a date coming up, right?” Sam hates that Sarah asks when she knows the answer and hates the smirk on her face even more.

“That Barnes boy is a charmer through and through. Very handsome,” his mom says. “Very polite. At Thanksgiving dinner he was always by my side asking how he could help, while your cousins sat on their bottoms, doing nothing. Wish I could thank his mama for raising such a nice young man.”

Sam pushes past the pain at the mention of Bucky’s mom and gets to the important questions.

“Who told Layla? And why is she talking aboutーabout... _babies_?”

“You mean to tell me I’m not getting any grandchildren, Samuel Wilson?”

“You alreadyー”

“Why should you be the only one with a niece? Can’t I want one for myself?”

“It’s a _first date_.”

His mom raises an eyebrow, and Sam does _not_ like to have his move turned against him. “That’s what they all say.”

 _What?_ That doesn’t even make sense.

“We’re Wilsons, Sam. We fall in love fast. It’s a blessing and a curse.”

“Knew I loved your father, God rest his soul, within a week.”

“And I was pregnant with Layla after Josh and I’s first anniversary.”

He’s thankful neither of them bring up the fact that he and Riley had gotten married a year after they started dating.

“All I need is final input on bridesmaids dresses, and I’m good, Sammy, really. Oh and Layla’s flower girl dress, of course.”

“Oh my God.”

“And hyphenate, please. Sam Barnes does _not_ sound good.”

***

Sam adjusts his blazer for the third time, takes one last look in the mirror, leaves his apartment and jogs down the stairs. Sam told Bucky he’d wait for him outside, and he’s grateful for the fresh air.

Not for the first time, he’s glad he’d refused Natasha’s help: Sam’s quite happy she isn’t here to roll her eyes at his shaking hands. He’s stressed enough as it is.

Him and Bucky had texted throughout the week, the usual stream of memes and insults and _can you believe what Steve did now_ , so Sam had been able to relax. But around 6:45, Bucky texted that he was on his way, and the nerves came rushing back. 

It’s not that he doesn’t want to go, he wouldn’t have said yes otherwise, butー

“Sam?”

 _Oh_. Jesus Christ.

Bucky’s hair was slightly longer than it was last time they saw each other, and it was pushed back, his hair styled like old Hollywood stars styled theirs. With his form fitting suit, the million-dollar smile Sam is not quite sure he’ll ever get used to, andーmascara and blush?ーSam’s reminded of why he’d thought about escaping New York City as fast as he could.

He’s not quite ready for gorgeous and smooth Bucky, and doesn’t think he ever will be.

“Ready, sweetheart?”

“Uh huh.” It’s a miracle Sam isn’t completely tongue-tied.

“Great.” Bucky raises his left hand slightly, offering it to Sam, and Sam takes it before he can change his mind, the cool metal slightly familiar in Sam’s hand.

“So,” Sam says after a moment, clearing his throat. “What’s the plan?”

“Am I supposed to have one?”

“Uh...yeah?”

“Kidding, sweetheart. Of course I have a date plan. Wouldn’t go out the door without one. Plus Nat would’ve killed me and Steve would’ve made disappointed puppy eyes at me if I hadn’t perfectly planned our date.”

Sam smiles at that, and feels a bit of tension leave his shoulders. “True. And honestly, you should pull out all the stops, since I’m probably the best date you’ve scored this century.”

“Don’t wanna burst your bubble, Sam, but you’re wrong.”

“What?”

“You’re _definitely_ the best date I’ve scored this century, probably even from both centuries. If I start rememberin' properly, I’ll let you know.” Bucky bumps their shoulders together, and when Sam looks over at him, he finally tells himself the truth.

Sam can blame Steve and the Avengers and his family all he wants, but he’d been the first and only real casualty of Bucky’s charm.

***

_A year later_

  
“Sam. Sweetheart. Ya can’t hide under the covers all day.”

“I can and I will. No,” Sam whines when Bucky pulls down the comforter.

“It’s not that bad.”

“It’s worse! They were all right, Steve, Clint, Natasha, Tony, all of them. Down to the _headlines_.” Sam shoves his phone in Bucky’s face.

“Oh shit. We’re trending on Twitter?”

Sam groans. “This is all your fault, too.”

“What?” Bucky laughs, “why?”

“Blush and mascara on our _first date_. Had to go open doors, and pull chairs and be a freakin’ gentleman. And then you _kept it up_. What was I supposed to do?” Sam asks, wiggling his ring finger and showing off the small gold band, “say no? That wasn’t gonna happen.”

Bucky chuckles and kisses his forehead. “I’m sorry?”

“Yeah, yeah. Least you could do is let me stay under the covers and pretend I didn’t just read the words _Move over, Royal Wedding_.”

“I’ll do better than that and get you some coffee, then get under those covers with you, yeah?”

Sam nods, tips his head up in a wordless request for a kiss. Sam smiles against Bucky’s lips when Bucky lingers more than he usually would, and after he pulls away, Sam realizes he’s got the exact same feeling he got in the pit of his stomach after their first kiss, about a year ago. Honestly, he should expect it by now.

But then again, it doesn’t really matter, does it?

He’s got forever to get used to it.

 

 **End**.

**Author's Note:**

> Lord i'm so happy, I thought I would never write again :') 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, I love comments so feel free to leave some!
> 
> Title from Countdown by Beyoncé.
> 
> I am on [Tumblr](http://targaryenmelodrama.tumblr.com) if you wanna drop by!


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